It's Better to Lose a Lover Than Love a Loser

13 actions by insecure guys, players, abusers, and all the other jerks that will just lead you to more heartache:


1) Tries to convince you everything is your fault


Translation: He wants to keep you in the dark about the fact that it is HIS fault.


2) Criticizes you, talks down to you, or makes you feel shameful

Translation: He is insecure about himself and he only wants to be with you to bring you down - in which bringing himself up higher to stroke his own ego

3) Telling you how to behave

Translation: This can be a lot of things, but in my experience it always had to do with manipulation and control - run!

4) Texts or calls a lot in front of you when you are out instead of giving you undivided attention

Translation: He's probably talking to his other girlfriend (obvious one) - but if your guy does this almost continuously when he's with you then he has no respect for you regardless.

5) Talks to everyone else in the group but ignores you

Translation: This can be a tricky one as it doesn't mean if he did this a few times, but rather if he does this pretty much ALL the time. If he does, he has no plans to go any further with the relationship (besides use you for just physical relationship in some cases).

6) He's rough with you physically in bed

Translation: Now I don't mean a little bit rough, I'm talking about where he is actually causing you physical pain - TOO ROUGH. This is kind of a dysfunctional thing with the mind - there are some guys who have a pure hatred for strong women, run!

7) He is pushy about objectifying you in some way such as getting you to strip for him

Translation: It is only cool if the girl VOLUNTARILY wants to do it herself, not being pushed into something. If he is pushy about it, he's selfish and only into pleasuring himself.

8) Buys you something but is controlling or obsessive about what you do with it

Translation: He cares more about the darn gift than you. Enough said.

9) Obsessed with double standards

Translation: Again, this has to do with guys who have pure hatred for strong women. They don't really respect women nor are intelligent enough to understand how hard women have had it in history (and even now). Not to say that we expect special treatment, but a real man that respected women would simply treat her well - not bash on women all the time.

10) Talks behind your back

Translation: He's just out to get something from you - whether it be money, physical relationship, or something else - he's just using you and his 'friends' probably know about it. Don't feel any shame to check his text messages or emails IF you have reasonable belief you are being used.

11) Your female and male friends start acting strangely toward you

Translation: They either know about the cheating with your guy and/or have been told stories about what a bad wife or girlfriend you are.

12) Makes fun of you in public saying he's only 'joking'.

Translation: He has no respect for you. Enough said.

13) Hating on women a lot; calls an ex-girlfriend 'crazy' or 'a b*tch'.

Translation: He's lying to himself about not only his past situation, but present. This guy has no intentions of taking accountability for anything he's done.


These above scenarios are major RED FLAGS I've learned to pay attention to in my own first hand experience - no matter if he was just a player, a cheater, or the worst an abuser - listen to your intuition and stay aware!


Here's a couple of books that have inspired me to never be a doormat nor victim and always demand the love I deserve:










Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both by Laura Sessions Stepp




The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women And How All Men Can Help by Jackson Katz

Learn More About the Books:

Book review for 'Unhooked'

Interview by author of 'The Macho Paradox'